Task 1: Story writing.

Whens it for?

 

There was once a French pikey called great white, he use to drink Magners Irish Cider
everyday till he was drunk, then one day he realised it was a waste of time.
He left on a magical journey with his big fat old buddy, the great and famous
StretfordEnd. They happened to walk into a Puppy named Hogarth who showed them how to give perfect head, so with there new found talents they carried on there adventure onwards to Disneyworld.
They reached the USA and found a strange girl named Jo, she told them that Mickey mouse had a huge dong and 15CharactersMax had sucked it dry leaving the magic kingdom in danger of losing its king.
They rushed to save king Mickey from his terrible fate, upon arriving they ripped each others clothes off, Jo was sucking Stret, Stret was sucking 15CM and GW was masturbating over Mickey thus saving the Magic Kingdom.

The End

 

On a hot summers afternoon Great White was bored at home and thought he would top up his tan in the garden,
And make the most of the sun.
Having had a late night, the night before Great White fell alseep,
And it wasnt till after he had woken up he realised that the garden gate was open and his dog Hogarth had run away.
After hours an hours of looking for Hogarth he decided it was time to give up.
Later that night he decided to drown his sorrows so he gave his ole pal StretfordEnd a call and decided to go for a few Magners Irish Ciders down their local.
Closing time was coming ever closer and after a good fair few of Magners Irish Ciders,
They spotted the local bike in the corner, She introduced herself as Jo, an without even asking for a drink she offered the pair back at her house to go 2's up.
On the way to Jo's house, Great White spotted his dog Hogarth. Instead of taking the dog home,
He took the dog round to Jo's and he joined in the gang bang.

 

It was a cold, wintery day when great White cracked open a Magners Irish Cider.
Being a hardcore, he felt that being out in the cold drinking was "cool"

However, StretfordEnd began to feel left out, and went all the way to France to join his good friend.
Soon later 15CharactersMax brought her dog all the way over
"This is Hogarth" said 15CM to the beloved Great white.
Great White responded by giving Hogarth a :Banana:

Howver, Jo dissaproved and started an all out brawl, leaving Stret with a nose broken, 15CharacterMax crying injured on the floor and Jo attempting to pull her dog away from Great White, who he was being sucked off by.
This all happeneing on the birthday of The_Kop.
He seems to enjoy the odd sausage fest.

The end. that sucked. I apologise for any hurt you lot will feel by this story

 

Jshaw, It needs to be 10 lines long

 

8's enough surely.

 

YOU FAILED!!!!

 

Yours is only 9 baron....

 

Read it and weep, he said 10 LINES.

I have produced a mighty 12.

 

Sorted then, i insulted your mate, The_kop

 

this is a story about a man named great white

not much is known about him except that he likes the odd mangers Irish cider

one day great white heard a knock on his door to his surprise it was his old mate stretford end straight away stret could tell all was not right with GW "whats wrong" stret asked "its my puppy Hogarth I haven't seen him for 3 days" GW replied

so stretford end promised great white he would help him in his quest to find his puppy Hogarth but they would need the help of the local *cough* erm... business women Jo "why have you brought me here" asked GW "she's the cheapest helping hand I can find" replied stret.

so off the 3 went across the boards searching for the dog they spent days searching in vain with stretford end banning anyone he deemed useless,

all hope was lost until they saw a shady character named THE BaRoN walking hogarth THE BaRoN had recognized the man he stole the dog off and tryed to run along with his crafty accomplice Jshaw they ran into a dead end THE BaRoN mumbled to his partner in crime "OMFG were caught LOLZ what do we do now" " give the dog back I suppose" replied jshaw but he had other Ideas and suddelny kicked dust into GW, stret and jo's eyes the ran

the three called out for help and then emerged from the shadows a hero know only by the name of the kop stoped the two in there tracks baffleing them instantly with good looks,

the kop then returned the dog to his owner and they all lived happily ever after the end

 

Twas a hot and sticky summers day. Great White had just finished his daily errrrrrm.......... yeah moving on,

Great White thought it would be a fabulous idea to go and call on an old mate from school, StretfordEnd. He was on his bicycle riding down the hill when something distracted him.

He went over to see what this mysterious item was, it was a brown package with pink ribon on it. GW slowly opened up the package to find that inside there was small red puppy, with a name tag around its neck. The tag read Hograth. GW decided that he would take the puppy to his freind SE.

When SE saw the puppy he thought that it was a good idea to get pissed so they three of them strolled down to the local tesco's. "what shall we buy to drink them" asked GW
"Magners Irish Cider" replied SE.

When walking back to the house they came across this scent. A purfume of fitness, they know that a attractive ytound woman had been walking down the path a few minutes ago.

Just as the pair got excited 15CharactersMax jumped out the bushes and much to GW and SE's discust 15CM had sprayed on some poofy purfume so that he ould gain some attention.

All of a sudden, Hograth grew 7ft big and ate up 15CM. SE ran away because he was secretly in love with 15CM so that left GW alone with the doggy. He sent the dog in a different direction but along came in the other direction was Jo, what a lucky guy.

The pair sat alone for the rest of the day drinking the Cider. Gw offered to walk Jo home and she accepted. Once at the doorstep Jo asked GW in for 'coffee' and we all know what happens next but I'm not going to write it down because i cant be bothered and with the detail i could use i will probaly get a warning from a moderator. Or just evicted.

 

Great white woke up on a sunny monday morning, but to his anger, he found that his alarm, who is gay brother called StetfordEnd brought him, failed to awaken him, so he called in work and pulled a sicky.

On his day off, he felt a sudden urge to frollick around naked in the house. he did the normal daily chores as usual, but spent more time vacuuming than anything

he then went out to get the morning paper, still naked, and met the local postwoman, jo. jo, seeing this... ahem.. small opportunity, decides to call her friend, 15 charactersMax, who wanted to see the local nude for herself.

Hours past, and after walking his puppy, hogarth, round the living room, he had a knock on the door, it was the postwoman and her friend, but to his embarasment, he tried to hide his package with a can of magners irish cider, which of course, did the job easily ....to be continued...

 

Detective Stret was busy as per usual on the rainy, windy Sunday afternoon at Effeff Manor. With his daily routines and tasks completed, he decided that since he had time to spare, a pipe to smoke and glass of scotch would come in handy as he aimed to complete his crossword. Just as he was settling down for the night, his faithful Bloodhound puppy Hogarth (pronounced "Hoe" and "Garth") growled from beside the fire, staring out into the dreary winter night sky. Stret leapt from his seat to see what his dog's grievances were, and was astonished to see a small gingery man stumbling around his garden singing La Marseillaise in a strange twang of Parisian and West Country...bottles of Magners renowned Irish Cider were strewn across the beautifully cut lawn...it seemed the crazy Francophile had broken loose once more..."great white has got out from the home again!" thought Stret, "third time this week! words shall have to spoken to Ms. Max to keep her 'unstables' inside." And as Stret settled down once again for the night, he could only help but wonder, how the once well spoken and upright proper "GW" had become foddering wreck he now is...and how it so easily could have been himself, the world renowned Detective Stret, until that faithful day in July almost 5 years ago...

To Be Continued...

 

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman named great white, who lived a peaceful life in the south of France after a sensational win in the Euro millions lottery. One day he was going about his daily business, when there was a knock at his door, he opened it and to his surprise it was StretfordEnd an old friend from school. However SE was not how great White remembered him, he was now an alcoholic drinking 15 bottles of magners Irish cider a day and was homeless. SE aggressively demanded a room at Gws paradise mansion, but GW stoop his ground and would not let him through. SE then got very angry and called Joe who bought a great Dane named Hogarth to the door. Just as Jo was about to release the agitated mongrel, 15characterMax (Great Whites new gold digging bird) showed up and dragged Jo down by the hair telling her she isn’t getting a penny of her money. As this was going on GW and SE got very bored and Gw eventually asked SE into his house to watch the football, SE complied and GW locked the door leaving Jo and 15CM to get on with it. After a few beers GW and SE realised they were hungry so they eventually unlocked the door and told Jo and 15CM to get in the kitchen and make some dinner. And everybody lived happily ever after (Except Hogarth wo got taken away by the RSPCA and had to be put down)

 

When I entered the pub through a great white door, or was I that drunk I entered Great white, well never mind, cos I can always blame Stretford End, being a local lad in getting me pissed on Magners Irish cider, but the only reason he bought my cider cos later he told me that he wanted to get his End away away in Stretford, and could I fix him up with a girl. Yes tis easy mate I know a couple of girls but they're dogs really, although one has been a lap dancer since she was a puppy, Hogarth I think her name was. Strange name for a girl but better than being called Jo I suppose, but now I'll have to move on and finish this story with this thought, this story will become a play one day but I shall only allow 15 characters max and no more. OK