Alcohol - it’s a barstard

I see my drinking becoming a problem. I have no off switch. It’s my mission to see May out alcohol free.

My sleep is awful usually, so that’s going to be a problem.

 

Not knowing when to stop when people are leaving the party was a massive problem for me ,I've realized now how tangible that fear I used to hold of the fun suddenly stopping really was. I used to do everything in excess and gave little thought to the why, to the extent I practically normalized the fact I hadn't been home for three days. At least you've realized you may have a problem girl and been brave enough to admit it ,its a good first step. Good luck with May and keep us updated.

 

Chamomile tea purchased

I have mentioned to a few people about my drinking too much. A lot of them say they drink more than me, so I don’t have a problem…. That’s their problem, and I’m just trying to do what’s best for me in the here and now.

 

I have no idea if this will work for you, but exhausting yourself before you sleep is a good idea.

 

I think not drinking and socializing as much has had a profound effect on my personality. I'm just constantly deep in thought pondering the future and whether I'm strong enough to meet up with it ? I'm assuming without the distractions I'm revving myself up to a massive blowout,it's just I know from past history that too much time to contemplate what comes next and I'm off the rails with a vengeance. It's filling in the gaps with a fever that's taking it's toll. Last night after coming home from Anfield I couldn't even be @rsed with logging on here and just felt angry that this is my life from now on and all the Devils and dissenting voices inside my head were getting ready to f*cking party. I managed to stave off the call to just grab my coat and join the lads in town ,but it took every ounce of fight I've left in reserve and now when I read over this post that was originally intended to be a slap on the back and just became a rambling tale of the heightened fear that's sweeping over me like a f*cking blanket I'm wondering if I'm hurting myself intentionally with this abstinence ?

Anyway,I think I'm struggling now people.

 

I have so little experience or comprehension of your environment, relationships, upbringing and mental state that I can only say I hope you can get these rough moments, then these episodes and processes, to let the fantastic person you clearly are shine through.

I can, just about, relate to the need for social interaction to moderate what's going on in your head. You recognise that the wrong sort of interactions will make matters worse. So I guess you need to create some more constructive, or at least benign, socialising opportunities.

Uncertainty and self doubt is a natural state for the more intelligent amongst us.

 

Fair play speaking up fella, well done not succumbing

 

Only you know what you are going through, so what I am going to add might not seem that relevant to you and your scenario, but in my experience alcohol amplified my negative feelings and emotions, and I know it does with some of my friends too as I see it clearly when they are drunk. The thoughts you are having now might be awful, and 9 or 10 beers might numb them for tonight, but they are going to come back with a vengeance the next day.

Caught up with a friend yesterday after I went to watch the football. We had some pizza and played video games (he had a few beers) and then he decided to come into town (I had to head that way to get home). On that journey he mentioned how impressive it was that I hadn't drank for over 4 years, and we discussed the problems I used to have with anxiety when hungover (he has the same sometimes). Long story short, he was still downtown as of a couple of hours back (on beer for well over 24 hours). I don't want to go into full details of his very eventful night and day, but basically it is the kind of problem you don't want to be going through in your 40s (which he is), and a few other friends I have here are the exact same. He isn't one who does it every week, but I know a few here who do. They go on long weekend benders to numb the problems in their life, and by doing so nothing gets resolved and usually said problems escalate. That friend I mentioned has another friend in Japan he has known since they were kids. He is convinced his friend doesn't have long left because he is in a constant spiral when it comes to alcohol. Wouldn't be the first person I have heard of lose his life to alcohol, though would be the first person I know of around my age as opposed to my dad's generation.

Sorry if it feels like I am being preachy or if what I am saying seems irrelevant to you. Main point I am making is I see plenty of people here trying to find the answer to their problems at the bottom of a bottle, and all they find is more drama. You have done great so far with not drinking, so try and go a little easy on yourself. You are doing good for yourself and your family.

 

I had to go out but the replies are appreciated ,thanks everyone.

 

Thanks mate

 

Cheers fella.

 

Thanks for that Habs ,appreciated fella. On the back of that video I've just dug out Porcupine and listened to Mac and the boys

 

Great post and true for everyone.

 

My motto for this moment

 

I'm usually the biggest instigator in leading people astray girl ,like the Scouse Svengali I know for a fact I've never been flavor of the month with my mates wives and girlfriends, but even with full acceptance of that ,I was never fussed about wearing the darkest cloak in the pack ,which I'm guessing was part of my problem ?

Anyway it's been 58 days since I stopped drinking and the closest I've come is when some heartless b@stard walked up to me and wafted his drink under my finely attuned nostrils and I caught a blast of the unmistakable aroma of a JD and coke ,it proved to be a landmark moment as it was so much easier to go the bar and seamlessly fall into a well used gear ,but I managed to hold off the urge and stick to the plan. On Sunday it will be 60 days ,with the latter of those 'for some inexplicable reason' I've found increasingly harder to endure. I must say though ,this thread and the love from family and those close to me has helped immeasurably with the need to express how I'm feeling and the response from those who have posted who have fought similar battles has been good to read.

Thanks all xx

 

I've been dragging her out to different places so much all her designer shoes have been shelved for more durable footwear. I'm sitting back constantly thinking of things to do ,as soon as I come back from the gym I'm drafting out itineraries in my head. A Cat on a hot tin roof couldnt live with my dancing Girl. I think the Spa sounds a nice idea ,she would love that xx